I'm Goofy, send more money

Last week, a Washington Post editorial said "any third-grader" knows Pluto is a planet and therefore we shouldn't change its status to dwarf-planet.

I discussed this ridiculous argument with Josh, who made some good points:

• "Who win would a race between Daddy and President Bush? Ask any kid, and they'll give you an answer."


• "I think there's a refusal to talk about some things seriously. Too much democracy can be a bad thing."


• "Ask any third-grader how many planets there are. They probably won't know. Ask whether Pluto is one of them. They'll ask about Goofy."

Worth a trip of its own

If you find yourself anywhere near Denton, Md., I recommend stopping for a meal at Colosseum, located right on Rt. 404, for the best Italian food I've ever eaten outside Italy.

Get the pasta.

My views on the dollar, with help from W.P. Kinsella

The one constant through my lifetime has been the knowledge that the U.S. dollar could kick the shit out of the Canadian dollar.

America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. This currency dominance over Canada is part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again.

For the first time in years, I looked up the exchange rate between the U.S. dollar and the Canadian dollar.

They are pretty darn close. In fact, depending on your local foreign exchange bank, the Candian dollar may be stronger. What would Terence Mann say about that?

Sex sells

Thank you to Free Ride, a blog put out by the Express, for touting my "nuggets of wisdom." The plug brought this page 92 readers on Aug. 17, helping dl004d land a record-high 307 unique hits.

Two college football stats that surprised me

No school in the country has won more bowl games than Wisconsin in the last 13 years (8; tied with Boston College, Nebraska and Ohio State)

No school in the country has cranked out more NFL draft weekend picks over the last six years than Wisconsin (31; one more than USC, two more than LSU, three more than Oklahoma, six more than Michigan, nine more than Texas, and 12 more than Auburn.)

Attention Denis Leary: Beckham is Jewish, just like Youkilis

In July, I wrote that if David Beckham wants to finish his playing career in the United States, as he has hinted, he should do it before he's washed up.

Bloomberg reported yesterday that I will not get my wish, as Real Madrid plans to extend his contract through 2009.

Ned Lamont loses Canadian Football League endorsement

After losing the Democratic primary, Joe Lieberman is running as an independent candidate. But he's not running as an Independent.

If he ran as Independent, his name would be lumped on the ballot with dozens of "no-name" independent candidates. Connecticut election law gives preferred placement on the ballot to candidates affiliated with parties, and Lieberman wisely has created a party called Connecticut For Lieberman. (I don't recall hearing about it, but evidently the CFL primary went smoother for him than the Democratic Party primary.)

As a result, Lieberman will be the 5th name listed on the November ballot.

If he wins, how will newspapers refer to him?

• Sen. Joe Lieberman (Connecticut For Lieberman-Conn.)?
• Sen. Joe Lieberman (CFL-Conn.)?
• Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.)?
• Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-Conn.)?

My undefeated streak is over

The Ham beat me at tennis today.

Honorable mention to the grape

Inspired by Stu's list of top 5 fruit, here is my own:

1. Tomato
2. Olive (pitted)
3. Avocado
4. Pineapple
5. Banana

The urbanist meets nature

REHOBOTH BEACH, Del. — Behold, two species I encountered this week in the wild: An Atlantic Shore Jellyfish and an Eastern Box Turtle.

Only one more full day here before I'm back to everyday sightings of the Delmarva Traffic Jammer and the Reticulated Wichita Tourist.

Please do not disable the cell phone detector

Word has reached Delaware (via a steam locomotive carrying today's USA Today, Josh) that airlines will soon be retrofitted to replace the "no smoking" signs with illuminated "no cell phones" signs.

It's a good idea -- those "no smoking" signs haven't been relevant for years.

But what about a sign for other electronics? At what altitude can I resume blogging?

End of an era

Word has made its way to Delaware that the Green Bay Packers have cut punter B.J. Sander, whom the team had drafted in the 3rd round a few years ago. He is the best example of a player being "Shermanized," which means the team kept him around -- even when his poor play meant having to play a season with two punters on the roster -- in order to avoid admitting that Mike Sherman had made a mistake.

Well, Sherman is gone now.

And so is Sander.

Rehoboth Beach is Scarborough Country?

REHOBOTH BEACH, Del. — It's hard to know the political leanings of an area you've just entered.

But there's something very interesting about this map's interpretation of the area involving Scarborough Ave. and Country Club Drive.

If you're gonna follow in someone's footsteps, who better than J.C.?

In June, I mentioned that I felt filthy while reading Jessica Cutler's "The Washingtonienne" — the book by the Senate intern who kissed and told.

Part of the problem was that I was reading it in public (on an airplane) and felt self-conscious the whole time.

Cutler — who these days is a published author who jumps out of cakes for money — said that I should have hidden the book inside The Economist. She also told me, over e-mail, that I shouldn't have taken the book so seriously since most of the book's stories are made up.

(Perhaps she claims it's fiction in order to fight the $20 million lawsuit from Robert Steinbuch, who says he is one of the characters. But how can one be sued for libel if one tells the truth? Maybe she's telling the truth that the stories aren't true.)

Anyway, below is my complete e-mail conversation with Cutler. She was kind enough to put up with my questions, and in return I will plug her book: Combined with The Economist, it's perfect for a flight from D.C. to Denver.

What advice do you have for someone who wants to read your book but who feels insecure doing so while sitting in an aisle seat on an airplane?

Jessica Cutler: Hide the book inside The Economist or something.

Your book is listed as fiction. Is that just to protect the identities of the people involved, or did you embellish some of the stories?

Jessica Cutler: It's categorized as fiction because most of it is made up. Like any other novel.

D.C. has a reputation for being a conservative city, clothing-wise and partying-wise. Yet you paint a pretty wild picture. Which is it?

Jessica Cutler: Pretending that it's a conservative city makes it that much more perverse.

Many people found it ironic that you were working for a Republican senator. Are those people just naive to think it would have been less "scandalous" to learn about such escapades coming from a Democratic staffer?

Jessica Cutler: What's scandalous to some people isn't a scandal to me. It's all relative.

Do you think Americans are hypocrites for being outraged at the stories in your book while such a high number are themselves involved in such mischief themselves (drugs, cheating on partners, etc.)?

Jessica Cutler: Who are these outraged Americans? Whoever they are, they're not my audience.

In your experience on the Hill, is it really the case that most staffers don't believe in the policies of their boss?

Jessica Cutler: I hope so. A senator's office shouldn't be a cult.

You don't strike me as being particularly politically active. Do you vote?

Jessica Cutler: No. Waste of time unless you live in a swing state.

Sen. Mike DeWine (R-Ohio), your former boss, is up for reelection in November. Are you following his race against Sherrod Brown (D)? Do you hope he loses?

Jessica Cutler: I don't live in Ohio, so it's not my choice to make.

You imply that Washington is a great place for women since it doesn't take much to be treated like a goddess. Is it because D.C. women aren't hot or stylish, or is it because there are simply more men in D.C. so the ratio is in their favor?

Jessica Cutler: Someone told me that women outnumber men, but it didn't seem that way when I lived there. Men tend to vie for the same women. It's the Queen Bee effect.

Is "Snakes on a Plane" going to be the greatest film of all time?

Jessica Cutler: They're not pretending to make a great film, they're embracing its badness, and I think everyone can appreciate that.

Lerner Shops building

For the last couple years, Marnie & I have been wondering what would happen to the abandoned Lerner Shops building on 11th Street in Metro Center.

Today, I noticed that the building is fenced off — perhaps renovations are afoot?

Convention Center traffic

Recently, these yellow things started appearing along Mt. Vernon Place NW.

My guess is that they are to prevent drivers from using the oncoming-traffic lanes to pass people. But on such a busy street, how would they have done that anyway?

One step forward, one step back

CBS has decided to get rid of sideline reporters for its NFL games.

Last night, ESPN debuted Monday Night Football with two sideline reporters, one for each sideline.

Dallas Cowboys, under attack

Until recently, I thought the word "redskins" came about because people thought Native Americans had reddish-looking skin.

I have since learned that the term dates back to when there was a bounty on the heads of tribe members. Trappers would bring in Native American scalps so that the trading post had proof of the killings. The term "redskins" referred to the bloody scalp remnants brought in.

In light of the latest effort to force the Washington Redskins to change its nickname, perhaps the activists should also target the team's rival down in Dallas.

After all, it was the cowboys who did the scalping.

I miss my old commute

Today, I saw the Metro's "flipbook" ad for the first time.

The 15-second advertisement, viewed on a moving Red Line train in the tunnel between Metro Center and Gallery Place, was for Target.

(Which is ironic, since there is no Target in D.C.) (Yet.)

Anyway, I love the flipbook ads.

Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard

I saw a billboard for Snakes on a Plane (on 11th street above Ortanique) last week and am officially excited to see the movie, even though I know it's likely to disappoint me.

Interestingly, the film added a line of dialogue to accommodate fans.

It seems Chris Rohan of Bethesda, Md., created a parody of the film, featuring a sound-alike Samuel L. Jackson saying: "I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!"

The fake dialogue became so popular that the studio brought back the cast to add that line to the film, changing its rating form PG-13 to R.

Meanwhile, the studio has also created a brilliant viral marketing ploy.

Pay up, Cameroon

Foreign embassies have racked up more than $250,000 in unpaid parking tickets in D.C. since 2001, according to U.S. State Department documents obtained by a D.C.-area radio station that filed a Freedom of Information Act request.

For the record, my college roommate, a third secretary of the Turkish Embassy, reports that the Republic of Turkey pays all its parking tickets.

Wampa

Usually, all high schoolers want to be cool. Some are and some aren't, of course. But nearly everyone wants to be.

Not Tom.

In high school, when I knew him, Tom didn't care what people thought of him. Not in a bad-ass way that made him cool. He just really didn't care.

He didn't try to hang out with the right people, and he didn't try to go to the right parties.

I was friends with Tom in high school, but we had fallen out of touch over the last few years. In fact, I hadn't thought about him in years.

Until he died unexpectantly. One year ago today, to be exact.

When his family went to collect his things, they found a picture displayed on his desk at work. The photo was of me, Tom and some other friends. Obviously he hadn't forgotten the memories.

I have a similar photo, and I'm going to put it up in my office.

Was yesterday Opposite Day?

Last night, Bruce Springsteen was at The Daily Show. That is, he was in the audience. So was Sports Illustrated columnist Rick Reilly.

Jon Stewart's on-air guest was Craig Glenday, editor of the book "Guinness World Records 2007."

Attention Guinness World Records

Surely, Marnie & I broke some sort of record while driving back from Dulles on Sunday night.

9:42 p.m.

We began to cross the 14th Street Bridge going north (the Arland D. Williams Jr. Memorial Bridge), heading to the 12th Street Tunnel.

9:46 p.m.

We arrived at home, having encountered 14 green lights and 0 red lights.

Celebrate the bridge by blowing up a small part of it

Last month, I recommended this article on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge. It is perhaps the finest piece of writing I've come across this year and is enjoyable even for those who have never driven on the bridge.

Meanwhile, those who have driven on the bridge and have less-than-fond memories can participate in a contest in which the winner gets to blow up a section of the old bridge on Aug. 24.

Report from SAL

Although Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip won't debut until Sept. 18, NBC has issued the pilot episode on DVD exclusively to Netflix subscribers.

Evidently, the pilot episode has several references to the film Network, which I watched for the first time last year.

SAL saw the Studio 60 pilot last week and reports that it is fantastic. "The dialogue is amazing," she said. "If this show gets canceled, it will prove that Americans are stupid and would prefer to watch people eat worms."

(Don't we already know that?)

What every Metro station needs

On this day, I saw that I had 10 minutes to putter around to take pictures of the station before making my way to the platform.

At most Metro stops, the monitor telling riders when the next train is coming is visible only from the platform. Thus, by the time passengers learn how much time they have to catch their train, they have already paid and committed to their ride.

But at the Morgan Boulevard station, one can see the monitor from outside the station.

There. I'm done. No more posts about Morgan Boulevard.

Stuck at a red light? Blame Garrett Morgan

LANDOVER, Md. — Near FedEx Field is a memorial to Garrett Augustus Morgan. The mosaic includes text that reads:

Garrett Augustus Morgan was an influential African-American businessman and inventor whose innovations included an early traffic signal that greatly improved safety on America's streets. Morgan is also credited for inventing the gas mask, which was later refined for use by the U.S. Army during World War I.

Both the main road to FedEx Field and the nearby Metro station are named after Morgan. I find it appropriate that an area in the middle of nowhere where 91,000 people converge eight times per year is named after a pioneer in traffic safety.

In praise of FedEx Field

LANDOVER, Md. — For years, I hated FedEx Field for being in the middle of nowhere and for being difficult to get to. Now that I know it's on the Metro, it's time I acknowledge that it's a pretty nice stadium.

Walk this way

LANDOVER, Md. — Until last week, I didn't know it was possible to take Metro to FedEx Field.

But it turns out that the Morgan Boulevard Metro Station, which opened in December 2004, is only a 15-minute walk to the stadium. Who knew?

All week, the local news media publicized yesterday's Redskins-Ravens scrimmage and gave careful instructions on parking, which cost $25. Why did coverage omit instructions on how to Metro to FedEx Field?

Say cheese

It can be difficult to stroll around downtown D.C., particularly around the National Mall, without walking right into a tourist's picture.

When possible, I make an effort to walk behind the photographer so as not to block the photo. Or to wait until the picture is taken.

But when I see that it's a digital camera, I make less of an effort.

I don't walk right into a picture. But I also don't wait for 20 seconds while the tourist frames the photo just right.

Is that wrong?

I like to get the Daily News

For years, I refused to watch any reality TV show. Then in February I watched the series Knight School.

And this week I started watched Tabloid Wars, a new six-episode TV show on Bravo that follows around the New York Daily News as it tries to scoop the competition before its daily 10:30 p.m. deadline.

It's a bit like the film The Paper, only edgier and with uglier people.

Regarding Mel Gibson

While he was drunk, he made anti-Semitic remarks.

After he sobered up, he apologized.

But the real mea culpa will be when he apologizes while drunk. That's how we'll know he is truly sorry.

You be the judge, part 2

Which one of these is not SAL?

Four products that caught my eye

Panasonic TH-103PZ600, a $70,000 plasma TV from Matsushita. It is 103 diagonal inches, bigger than a double-sized mattress. On PTI, Michael Wilbon said he has pre-ordered one already. Wilbon is a rich man, but he was kidding. (Right?)

Caffeine Tights, stretchable garments for women that claim to burn fat and remove cellulite by releasing caffeine microcapsules into the skin. This sounds like a scam, but I suppose it's better than having women pour coffee down their legs.

ELP Laser Turntable, a $15,000 record player that reads music by using a laser beam. It lets you skip around the various tracks just like a CD.

CarLoft, a lift-system to let you park your car on the balcony of your high-rise apartment.